Food for thought from Steve's blog Be Proactive:
Quote:
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Most people think reactively. And reacting to certain events is all well and good. But it becomes a problem when that’s all there is to a person’s life — nothing more than instinctively reacting to stimuli.
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I read this, and it was another one of those things I'd read probably 50 times before, but it just struck me again in a fresh way. Right now I am living in a state of waiting and reacting. I am waiting to see what my ex does so I can know how to feel about the situation, I react to the people and events around me more than I create new events and situations.
That's something concrete I can work on, and I intend to. I think I felt that if I didn't take other's feelings into account I would just become cold and lose them. But I can still care about their feelings and respond appropriately without putting my life on hold. I know that must sound like knowledge even a child should have. I guess I've just always been a people pleaser and go-along-er. That's probably got a lot to do with feeling so ineffective all of the time. I am always in a state of waiting for something or someone to make a decision, and so I never do.
ETA: Pretty much that whole post is a great one for me! I am glad I decided to go back and start at the beginning.