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Originally Posted by geekchic9  I was afraid someone was going to say something like this. You see, I don't really think that the molestation and bullying I faced in childhood, and the resulting PTSD, ADHD, and bipolar disorder I have now are my fault at all. It's my reaction to them that I need to work on right now. In fact, considering all of the money I owe from school and medical bills, the fact that I can hold a job at all for someone of my condition and stress level is rather an accomplishment. Most people I know with these conditions are considered permanently disabled and are dependent on SSDI and other government assistance to survive. By that standard, I'm rich.
I suppose my question is that why, when I played by all the rules, worked hard, and did the best I could, did God let this happen to me anyway. It's not like I deserved it based on what I can see. I recognize that a lot of people could ask this question, and that my life isn't as horrible as I make it out to be, but still, it makes me wonder if I did some horrible thing in this life or a past one (possibly) to deserve this suffering.
EDIT: Oh, yes, and my disabilities do substantially limit my job prospects, due to my occasional mood swings and poor working memory. |
Well, what I'm saying is you can't fence-sit on this issue. If you believe in God, you believe he knows best and you would look at your hardship as a "trial" or something.
If you aren't satisfied with God, then he shouldn't exist in your mind. You will just have to come to terms with the idea that nobody is watching over the world and no matter how "good" you behave by any rule book, bad things are going to happen.
How can you be sure your situation is bad? You could be upset because you are disadvantaged in some areas compared to others, but you could also be happy you are advantaged in some areas compared to others... And my point isn't that you should be on the positive side of that spectrum, it's that you can live feeling a lot better about your life if you throw away the duality and see that such concepts are relative and have no real meaning.