Quote:
Originally Posted by Terumoto  Why not let go and stop trying to blame some unreachable, ungraspable being for what you see as the flaws in your life. You are the one living your life, if you've got problems, it's nobody's fault but your own. |
I was afraid someone was going to say something like this. You see, I don't really think that the molestation and bullying I faced in childhood, and the resulting PTSD, ADHD, and bipolar disorder I have now are my fault at all. It's my reaction to them that I need to work on right now. In fact, considering all of the money I owe from school and medical bills, the fact that I can hold a job at all for someone of my condition and stress level is rather an accomplishment. Most people I know with these conditions are considered permanently disabled and are dependent on
SSDI and other government assistance to survive. By that standard, I'm rich.
I suppose my question is that why, when I played by all the rules, worked hard, and did the best I could, did God let this happen to me anyway. It's not like I deserved it based on what I can see. I recognize that a lot of people could ask this question, and that my life isn't as horrible as I make it out to be, but still, it makes me wonder if I did some horrible thing in this life or a past one (possibly) to deserve this suffering.
EDIT: Oh, yes, and my disabilities do substantially limit my job prospects, due to my occasional mood swings and poor
working memory.