Originally Posted by colonel
My problem is there's no point in changing anything or going for anything. I can't see a future where I could be happy.
It wouldn't be called Dark night of the soul, if you could see a bright future lying ahead, now would it?
I have been where you are time and again, yet I do not know how to help you, cause it feels like trying to give you an infusion of life energy. What good is it when I tell you that there is a sunrise if you only make it to the end of the night? There is, but you have to keep on going. If you can't walk for lack of strength, then crawl, but keep on moving.
Putting one foot in front of the other is an act of your will to live. Your post here is an act of your will to live. And every breath you take, every beat of your heart is an act prooving that your soul wants to live.
I don't know if you ever read the Neverending Story by Michael Ende, but there's the swamp of sadness, and walking through it, the horse of Atreju, Ajax, at one point just refuses to go on and then is slowly swallowed up by the morass. If you ever read the book, I'm sure you as well wanted Ajax to keep on moving and live. I at least sat there and nearly screamed at the pages wanting it to move and not just give in and go down like that.
I may not be able to show you the light at the end of the tunnel, your vision still remains your own no matter how much I wish you well. And I can't drag you on through the dark, cause I can't physically grab you by the hand even. But I can promise you, swear on it by my soul that there is a light, that there is a sunrise if only you keep on going.
What you make of it, is your own choice. I surely believe there's a John Mc Lane in all of us that is ready to put up a fight and die hard. And to me saving yourself is a worthy cause to put up a really good fight.