Hey, laur. Sorry you are dealing with this.
My ex did that, but then again so did I. So, no I don't think it is a guy thing. It may have more to do with feeling unheard or frustrated in some way. Sometimes, for me, I would get to a point in a disagreement where I felt like I was being ignored or misunderstood and I've said things like that to make him feel as bad as I did. Not a very healthy way to communicate! We spent a lot of time after arguments saying, "I am sorry I said those things. I was angry and I didn't mean them." For me at least, I really didn't (and I don't think he did either. I know that he loved me ). As time went on and we explained to each other how those things hurt despite the fact that they did not reflect our true feelings, we made promises to try to stop doing that.
What kinds of things is he saying? Have you talked to him about how his comments make you feel? What was his response?
I bet you will get some better responses, but I just wanted to tell you my experience with this in hopes it would help. It's not a good pattern of communication to get into. And if you both agree on that you can come up with some better options for times when you disagree, some "rules of engagement." If he doesn't see name calling or horrible things as a big deal, you have another issue on your hands.
|