[jaamkie]

So I'm looking for help in how to be supportive of the guy I'm dating when he's just found out that his dad is sick possibly with something with no treatment... and his family lives over in Europe so he isn't there with them but is instead alone and helpless just worrying about it all. I've been feeling sort of blue recently for a lot of other reasons as well so I'm having a hard time being nice and supportive when I sort of just want to cry myself or act fakely cheerful and ignore it all.

This happened once before where I was dating a guy who's mother got sick and eventually died overseas and he couldn't afford to go home to be with her- and the experience last time was difficult for me and we ended up splitting up months later but due to him shutting down and me feeling neglected ever after his mother died; so I'm thinking a lot of that when I'm talking to this guy now, and I don't want to bring it up to him because that story ended badly all the way around. I don't think I've ever been very good at showing compassion and being supportive the right way- I empathize but just get sad/moody myself or try to hide it and be cheerful when I'm really not; and I feel like I don't know how to say I understand without trivializing how they feel, and I don't know how to say it'll be ok when maybe it won't be, and I don't know how to distract them without feeling fake and even sadder for trying to ignore it.

So does anyone have advice for me on how to be supportive and nice and to not bring a past similar negative experience into my current relationship?