Without trust, or at the minimum, the desire to foster trust, there is no love or freedom. You have no relationship at all. Danger Man taught me a great (and slightly uncomfortable!) way of dealing with it when I was the suspicious one, and being all weird on him: He said, "you can be like this if you want to, but it's not going to do our relationship any good. Let me know when you're ready to drop this (weird stuff) and be straight with me." Then he walked out of the room. I was left with the choice of either being authentic, or letting the relationship go. Very clever man, that Danger Man. He totally interrupted by habitual pattern.
Oh, yeah, and as Dharma was saying, take a look at yourself and see in what way your bf is right -- you are being dishonest. Maybe it's with yourself, maybe it's with him. You can be pretty sure you've been doing some lying, one way or the other. We readers can see the residue of it. And as Jim said, how long will you allow yourself to be held hostage? |