Welcome to the forum. From now on remember one thing, it's not about him, it's about me.
If you try to blame him, Authority (ehem), your not going to see what is in this situation for you. I assume since you're here, your willing to open to some change within yourself. This situation is a call for change within yourself. Change can be easy and change can be difficult (if we resist it).
Remember this too: It's all a mirror of myself
If your BF says, "You are lying to me. Are you seeing someone else? I have proof and I'm not going to tell you."
Put that in a mirror and see what it is you're saying to yourself. It would be something like:
I'm lying to myself. Am I seeing myself? I have proof and I'm not going to tell me about it.
So far so good, except the last sentence. For this to be helpful, all the nouns in the sentence have to be about you too.
I'm lying to myself. Am I seeing myself? I have me and I'm not going to tell me about it.
So, in this conversation with your BF, you're telling you: you're playing with some denial right now, and you're becoming aware of different aspects of yourself you have locked up inside you, but are still unwilling to go there consciously.
And you'll still have connection and love for yourself (making love to your BF) but you're not going to let yourself off the hook (he will keep bringing it up).
Something new is moving inside you that wants to be expressed. Maybe it's a different sense of self, an awakening, something... Set aside some time and open some space. Try short meditation during the day to quiet you mind down. Express whatever is inside emotionally. Take a walk in nature (my favorite). Follow you impulses and see where it leads.
The external conditions (your situation with your BF) won't change unless you make a change internally or layer a bunch of denial over it and make it go away for a while.
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