[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by PatriceA

That means, 3 years from now, you could very well be married to that guy you're writing about.

NO WAY

Originally Posted by SuperStar

And also, I think that in a case like this, being "rude" and and aggressive towards him *if* he does disrespect your boundaries is actually a loving act, what he needs most... if you were to hurl the worst insult you could think of at him, it might shake him up and make him realize, "hey, my perfect woman would not say that of me."

I already tried that! It didn't work. I've never been so hard, rude, harsh and blunt to any other person in my life. I told him the most crude things about why I don't want him and what I think about him. With time I really got allergic to him. He couldn't show up without me getting aggressive towards him. But the more I got angry, the more he got soft, sighing and caressing. I think he was even pleased about it because this way at least I paid attention to him.

There is just nothing that can scare him away. He met me depressed, fat and sick and found me wonderful. He finds me terribly sexy even when I'm unshaved and hairy like a yeti, when I'm dirty and stinking, when I'm wearing oversized sweatpants and having pimples on my face. He loves me when I have a nervous breakdown and am crying like a whimp. I'm afraid there is just no way I can turn him off.

Originally Posted by JimOfferman

The answer to that is simple, Rose: you're a beautiful person inside and out. I can totally understand how someone could fall for that and never get up again.

Thank you for the compliment Jim. But there are many beautiful women in the world, there is really no need to obsess over me.

Originally Posted by Mags

So, Rose, knowing what we do now... for some reason, you've created this situation in your life... what is it reflecting for you?!

Dunno

In the past years I had a problem with feeling trapped in some situations. I'm currently working on that and Angela coached me most efficiently. I used to feel trapped with him because I felt very helpless. He would just not listen to my body language, he would not listen to my verbal no, he wasn't very impressed by my being aggressive, so I really didn't know what to do anymore.

When feeling trapped, I tend to react in strange ways. So I can very well imagine that my no was not a confident, high-quality no. It was more like the barking of a cornered dog I guess. It doesn't help that our story began as an affair. It doesn't help either that I really did like him very much. He's a highly intelligent, funny, charming and very interesting personality and I couldn't help smiling all over my face when seeing him (at the beginning, later I looked rather pissed off when seeing him). But still, my no was very clear I think and any normal guy would accept it.

He also says that in fact I do love him and our relationship is wonderful, and that I just don't know that yet. No matter how clearly I tell him "No I do not love you and no I don't want to see you and there is just no relationship at all between us", this doesn't penetrate his skull. He told his friends and family about very complicated psychological problems I allegedly have to explain why I'm living in denial and am just afraid to have a relationship with him This is a bit like a nightmare, I've never felt so misunderstood in my life. He interprets just everything I say or do in a way that supports his theory.

Originally Posted by Zane

i'm not sure, but maybe, because when he was first time in love with you, you were some kind of...his first love, i think. And since then, you've been the best girl in his mind, taking his time thinking about girls. And, he still wants you, because he never gets u! i think maybe he's a good guy when being in love with you for 6 years (and he probably a normal guy without mental problems), long time like that usually gets women down! SMART and ROMANTIC guy!

I'm not his first love, he dumped his long-time girlfriend because of me. But I don't find his behavior smart in any way. Anyway, he can love me for thirty years I would still not want him