[The Flannel Guy]

Well, its kind of hard to describe. I do well in speeches. I love it when people DO ask questions and can answer them. Its the best part of the speech because there is feedback and discussion and it adds something to the topic.

But at the same time when I go places or am around people I get a feeling of being out of place. Other people seem SO much better at social things. I learned a lot about body language a bit back and I pick up on things that others tend to not see. One thing I pick up on a lot is a general dislike for me, even when others are just talking to me. Crossed arms and turned away feet, for instance. Maybe I am putting out a vibe, but if I am then I am completely oblivious to it.

The things that foster animosity towards me are things like religion, when it comes up, which is rare. But when it does people practically run from me because of my different views. My ex wife for instance was wiccan. When she whould get asked about things relating to what she believed she would skirt the issue. People would get mad or defensive to what she thought. The same seems to happen when I talk about my thoughts/beliefs. Though in a different kind of way.

Like I said, its kind of hard to describe it.

The wanting things is kind of a hard topic to discuss as I did not really go into it in the original topic and it would require more time to explain than I am willing to devote to a reply. Sorry!

As to the "Be the change..."
- Yeah but at the same time doesn't that leave you open to problems? I mean I could have rose colored glasses but then I would get worked over by the cold, hard, world we live in.

So what do you mean? Just be relaxed and calm all the time? I don't think I have EVER been that.

But as far as being "really friendly and nice" I just dont see that happening.

Anyway, I know that there is probably another way to be than how I am, but I dont see it. And the other ways I do see dont seem practical. I could stand to be more "chill", but I've never been like that. And nobody can really change their personality. You can change the other things about yourself, but not your personality. So I've been told...