Yeah you said it. It was dumb. No question about it. Accept that and quit letting that thread run circles in your mind. Maybe like me you think that you deserve to be feeling like you are because you did such a dumb thing. Well guess what:
WELCOME TO THE CLUB!
I am definitely a member. There isnt a monthly cost or anything, anyone can join. ha ha
Well I have done some dumb things, like why did I stay with my cheating wife for six years, why did I marry her in the first place, why did I move to Texas ( I absolutely hate it here) Why did I do so many dumb things to end up in jail seven times in two years!!! Why did i date that woman when I was still married!, why wasnt I a better dad an spend more time with my kid, why didnt I stay in the Navy, why did I .......on and on and on.
It drives me crazy, or it used to more than it does now. The stupid, crazy, dumb, things I did in the past kept coming back to me and running around in my mind all day long. I felt like a discrace, low, stupid, like a failure!
I can only give one piece of advice that might or might not work, you arent me after all.
When those thoughts start runnin around your mind, STOP THEM. You know how to, its the same way we stop thinkin about anything. Procrastinators are especially good at this, I should know, I am one!
Just kick your mind off in a different way, and dont allow the other thought back. It works, but it wont keep a thought away, that takes time. You probably wont want to get rid of that bad thought at first either. You want to hold on to it because you feel like you deserve to feel bad. Stop that! Get rid of those circular thoughts.
And as sucky as this sounds, it does just take time. If you genuinely want to get better then find some kind of help. I prefer not to go to doctors or take meds. So I learned what to do mentally from books and online! Amazing huh, the power of research.
But where ever you get help, remember to be in a mindset that you are working to 'be better'! Dont hang to this bad feeling just because its familiar, it is a prison and those bad thoughts are destructive can and probably will destroy your life.
And dont sit inside! go do something! I prefer to be alone. So I fish. Maybe not fishin for you but find anything, gardening, car work, recycling, walking, anything just dont stay home all the time. I am sure your depressed and maybe angry, but sittin inside aint the answer.
I should know, its all I ever used to do. Work-Home-Work-Home all week then I would sit inside all weekend. That was a really poor decision on my part and it prevented me from getting better any sooner than I did.
I am by no means "All better or cured", yeah right. I still struggle, just less than I used to, Its a pain in the butt that it takes so long to work on this stuff, but I guess its just one of those things.
Eh? This help any?