I think, at least from my point of view, that people go ahead anyway because they just really would like to have children and despite the uncertainty trust that whatever happens they will find the strength to deal with it. I myself have always wanted to have children. Knowing lots of families who deal with Autism or birth defects or FAS has not swayed me at all. Once you have a child, I imagine the obstacles won't seem so big as they do in your mind. And I also imagine there are preferences you could state to the adoption agency that might minimize the chances of unknowns. A healthy pregnancy where you know the mother and father's family health history would give some reassurance. And since you would be adopting an infant (I am assuming) there wouldn't be the issue of learned behaviors or a troubled childhood.
None of these things takes away risk completely, but you and your husband are grown, you have resources and you said you feel ready. I think that's as ready as anyone can be. And it's been done successfully with much less!
I know quite a few people actually who have adopted high risk children and have never once regretted it despite the challenges. I think if this is what you and your husband want then it will work out for you. If you believe you will still love and want the child regardless of what challenges arise then I think you are doubly ready.
Good luck and all my well wishes and support go out to you.
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