Wow, that was all very well-thought-out and articulated (especially the part about my brother - funny, I never thought of him like that before
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One thing I don't understand is why is there more misery when you are clinging or why do you say it has been multiplied? And a second thing, if your craving is, for example, just to never have to be in the presence of a certain person/s, which is sort of what mine is in this case, it seems doable without having to consider doing it again.
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Originally Posted by JimOfferman  Separating yourself from your family is incredibly difficult, even when it is the right thing to do. You should be proud that you have the courage to set that in motion! It would be much easier to stay and suffer. |
Leaving them physically was a piece of cake, I couldn't get away from them soon enough, or even out of the country soon enough, but all the bad stuff continued even across the ocean, until I finally just stopped all contact with my dad about 1½ years ago and I stopped seeing my brother, kept loose contact by email with him. I had always been afraid to cut off contact entirely and I have mild nagging feelings of guilt (about my dad--especially now that my brother has also cut contact with him), but...Something I never did understand was the idea that it is easier to stay and suffer. I have never stayed and suffered with someone indefinitely--I stayed with my dad as long as he made me stay. Wanted to go away earlier and farther, but he wouldn't let me go, not even to Canada.
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Here's hoping that visa comes through quickly!
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Thanks!
