Quote:
Originally Posted by A2K89  I'm gunna go out on a limb here and say you, me, and yossarian probably all hold a similar personality type. According to this personality test (which I just found twenty minutes ago on this board), I'm a " INTP". |
I was an INTP until about 2 years ago, when I slowly made the transition to INFP. My F/T is always borderline.
I prefer to express the F part. I naturally have a very strong intellect but I've learned that the intellect is not the master - the intellect is the tool. The heart must be the master, hence the F becoming more pronounced.
I usually score something like 100% I, 80% N, 60% F, 80% P
My own approach to dealing with my social issues is actually quite similar to the solution Angela offered although I express it differently.
The way I look at it is that I have to learn to make myself vulnerable, and learn to accept whatever it is people give me with love. So I make myself vulnerable and express my true self, while being outcome independent with respect to the consequences. I intentionally avoid thinking about the consequences, and just express the loving, warm self without repression. If someone abuses me in response, I'm slowly learning to accept their abuse and have compassion for the confusion inside them that causes that abuse.
My focus is on cultivating equanimity with people's reactions to me, and on cultivating compassion and love for people despite how they may treat me.
Meditation has helped me an incredible amount.. I would say that the progress I've made has been 90% due to spending hours in meditation. You really can't meditate enough. I went to a 10-day Buddhist meditation retreat recently (non-stop meditation in silence for 10 days) and it really opened my heart and deepened the compassion that I feel for all people. It was an immense help, although also an extreme challenge to actually last the full 10 days. If it wasn't for the intentions that I've cultivated to be of selfless service to all of humanity, I would have never made it past day 3. That "devotional" practice motivated me to meditate, and the meditation opened up a lot of closed doors.
In the past, when I saw someone behave in an immoral way (since I'm perceptive I pretty much see everyone behaving in some kind of violent way) I would judge them and try to avoid them. But through meditation, I've been able to release that judgment and instead have compassion for the predicament they are in. Ultimately, inside of every screwed up person, there is a compassionate human who is itching to get out. The ultimate service that we can do for these people is to show them our true selves in a vulnerable and genuine way.
A few years ago, it would have been completely impossible for me to show my vulnerable side to random strangers. With meditation, it has become possible. A few years ago, I would have never even have been able to write this post because it would feel too vulnerable. I have to credit meditation+devotion for all of my progress.