I know that freight train panicky feeling! Where you're just trying to survive, let alone be a master of a life you love.
I read something recently in The Eighth Habit, by Stephen Covey. He writes about the space between stimulus and response -- that the quality of life depends on what happens in that space. And what happens is all your choice.
When you're in freight train mode, there's no space between stimulus and response at all, is there? But right now, when you're relatively calm, you can be aware of that space, and see that your choices are what make your life, right? I would like to invite you to re-read your own posts as if you were another person, and see the incredible volume of negative thought you feed yourself -- you'll be astonished at how many "I can'ts" you choose. The more you say that, the more deeply you believe it. You would never use such negative language to another person, would you? "you can't do this, you can't do that." You would encourage them, and empower them, wouldn't you? You have the power and ability and responsibility to encourage and empower yourself, as well.
Take a bold look, and see that you have a choice to generate freedom from the freight train.
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