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Originally Posted by Bliss Sage  I find it difficult to live with other people, frankly, so it's not one-way, and I don't want to live with them either. "Tragically" at this moment I am forced to. |
Bliss Sage, having this attitude towards other people, is it any wonder why people would find you difficult to be with?
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If that is a shy person, what do you call the person standing in the corner observing the life of the party and seeing all sorts of things she doesn't really want to see in him beneath his surface and beneath the surface of all the people paying attention to him, while she is simultaneously wanting to get away from the party and wondering how she got there in the first place and planning how to avoid the situation in the future?
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I would say that person is in a pretty hardcore state of resistance. I hear in what you write a real desire to be accepted, exactly as you are and exactly as you are not. Maybe you can see that "seeing all sorts of things she doesn't really want to see" is you not accepting others exactly as they are and exactly as they are not. Wouldn't you say that if you want a condition in your life, like acceptance, it would be effective to actually BE that condition yoursef? When a person is in a state of resistance, it's not too surprising that people would resist her. Why not surrender, and be what you want to see?
I'm not saying you have to change (I think you've thought that before). I'm saying, you can't change other people, but you can change your own thoughts and experience. If there's something missing, you can choose to generate it yourself -- or not, it's your choice. Either way, it has nothing to do with what others are doing or saying or thinking, it's all about you and your choices.