Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - Are Kids Necessary? (prob. controversial)

daisylover26 · 11-24-2006, 12:51 PM

As others have stated, the answer to this question ultimately depends on who is answering it. I can say that I believe for some people, having children is absolutely not necessary to live a rewarding and happy life. My husband and I are two such people. I have never wanted children, mostly because it's just not a lifestyle that appeals to me. But, that's not to say that I don't like kids. Once they reach a certain age, I love kids. I worked as a teaching assistant in the public school system for five years, I have two nieces that I've helped raise since I was 15 and they were babies. They are now 15 and 13 and it has been a JOY to watch them and help them grow over the years.

From my perspective, there are so many unwanted and ignored children all around the world, you can actively be a part of a child's life without having to create another one. And for me personally, I subscribe to the "take care of what's already here" philosphy. Don't get me wrong, I don't fault someone for wanting or having their own child, but I have seen so many that just go into parenthood blindly or not on purpose and I do think that's kind of a shame because it doesn't always "work itself out".

I'm only in my twenties, but because I have spent so much time working with children, few people question my choice not to have any of my own. Occasionally I'll get the "Oh, you'll change your mind" or "You'd be such a great mother" or "It's different with your own kids", but for the most part, people leave me alone

IMO, if you're questioning whether or not you want kids, I would take that as a sign that you shouldn't have them (at least for now). My mom always said with her it was a burning desire to have children, no question. I've known others the same way. It's such a huge, serious, lifelong committment and I think until you know without a doubt, you should hold off. I would also advise someone considering parenthood to spend some time around kids. Volunteer at a school, become a Big Brother/Sister, hang out with nieces/nephews, etc.

Good luck with this. I know it's a tough, personal decision, but I applaud you for giving it thought before jumping in.

11-24-2006, 12:51 PM	#9 (permalink)
daisylover26 Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Fabulous Las Vegas Posts: 28	As others have stated, the answer to this question ultimately depends on who is answering it. I can say that I believe for some people, having children is absolutely not necessary to live a rewarding and happy life. My husband and I are two such people. I have never wanted children, mostly because it's just not a lifestyle that appeals to me. But, that's not to say that I don't like kids. Once they reach a certain age, I love kids. I worked as a teaching assistant in the public school system for five years, I have two nieces that I've helped raise since I was 15 and they were babies. They are now 15 and 13 and it has been a JOY to watch them and help them grow over the years. From my perspective, there are so many unwanted and ignored children all around the world, you can actively be a part of a child's life without having to create another one. And for me personally, I subscribe to the "take care of what's already here" philosphy. Don't get me wrong, I don't fault someone for wanting or having their own child, but I have seen so many that just go into parenthood blindly or not on purpose and I do think that's kind of a shame because it doesn't always "work itself out". I'm only in my twenties, but because I have spent so much time working with children, few people question my choice not to have any of my own. Occasionally I'll get the "Oh, you'll change your mind" or "You'd be such a great mother" or "It's different with your own kids", but for the most part, people leave me alone IMO, if you're questioning whether or not you want kids, I would take that as a sign that you shouldn't have them (at least for now). My mom always said with her it was a burning desire to have children, no question. I've known others the same way. It's such a huge, serious, lifelong committment and I think until you know without a doubt, you should hold off. I would also advise someone considering parenthood to spend some time around kids. Volunteer at a school, become a Big Brother/Sister, hang out with nieces/nephews, etc. Good luck with this. I know it's a tough, personal decision, but I applaud you for giving it thought before jumping in.