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However, you cannot change someone else and if you can deflect this behaviour and not be affected by it, then it will stop. Taking responsibilty for self and one's own emotions is the most powerful place to be. I will choose it every time.
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In my case I was effected, and it was out of being effected, ( sessions with my physcologist) that I learned the face and name of what the evil was .. so to speak, once you know this , this is your empowerment, and you can then learn ways of coping with these types of people...
My fIL is 82 yrs old and he has had many years of perfecting his manipulative tricks , and he would never consider changing something that obviously has worked so well for himself.. as i said he has perfected his game* for me it was never about changing him, ( although sadly my husband does try, ...) and that is only because it is too difficult for my husband to believe that his father is ill... but for me it was learning tools to protect my self.....a true manipulator (personality disordered) will not stop.. they will continue on being who they are...
so yes i agree safe gaurding self is an absolute !!!