That is what I was asking, if she had previous experience with the woman's alledged unacceptable behaviour. On the face of it someone saying 'you are my favourite' doesn't sound like abuse, does it? I felt it needed clarifying and I think you have done so. I believe I know how the poster feels. I have had similar experiences with my mother. I do know.
However, you cannot change someone else and if you can deflect this behaviour and not be affected by it, then it will stop. Taking responsibilty for self and one's own emotions is the most powerful place to be. I will choose it every time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Soul  the evidence is that this poster is already a target of this womans bullying, so the poster is quite aware of the person she is acusing of being passive agressive the poster is recognising that when this woman uses the term
"favorite" person, this woman is not using the term "favorite person" for it's honest deffeniton, because her behavior at the work place is that of a bully,
The poster is feeling "attacked" because she clearly is!! , and the reason the poster says :
if she had come over and hit me I would have been fine???? I don't understand why I react so badly inside and Im not sure how to deal with it
She says this because the hit in the face is direct, it is upfront and clear language , something passive agressive behavor ( manipulation), is not so it makes it harder to deal with ...
defined: passive agressive
Definition:
avoiding direct confrontation: describes a personality type or way of behaving that seeks to manipulate others indirectly and resist their demands rather than confronting or opposing directly
Passive aggressive behavior is not clear language , when the bully said "my favorite person", she knew exactly what she was doing.. her meaning did not line up with the honesty of the phrase |