Hi David73,
Best part of your posts is that you already know where you need to make changes and
you want to make them 
There's a certain strength in being able to look at the ugly parts of yourself full-on and admit them in utter clarity, which is a different thing entirely from dwelling on them too much, so give yourself some points to that.
It seems obvious to everyone else here that you
love games, and if you're waiting for someone here to validate that passion for you by pointing it out...nyah nyah
You might be feeling like you won't succeed it at, and I'm not going to get your hopes up by guaranteeing you magical success...even Guy Kawasaki told the CEO of Yahoo! it wasn't a viable business when they started (Guy has since called his 'bozo moment' the one that cost him roughly 2 billion dollars - whew!).
But since you'll never know if you're going to succeed or not unless...well, you succeed or not, I guess you have nothing to lose except what you've got now right? It might even be worth it to lose those excuses of yours, wouldn't it?
The beautiful thing about the internet age is that you can start your own blog site nowadays for next to nothing. If you feel like writing a game review, write a game review! Whether it sucks the first time, the second time, or gets better with the third or fourth time, or doesn't at all, no-one need ever know unless you want them to.
Well, your comfort zone would, but we're not talking to her are we?
Lest I appear too flippant, I'd give you props: for someone who 'doesn't really care much for others', and 'never made any friends', you've kept a long-term relationship with your wife of (more than) 12 years.
I've been called everything from 'compassionate', 'great coach', 'caring', 'loving' and I still have problems with my fledging 9 month relationship...whew! I don't know how you long-timers do it but much respect