This is my first thread, and although I've been reading posts on here for a while, I have rarely felt the need to comment, and have never felt the need to start a thread (until now)! I guess what I'm struggling with is 'unsureness' with myself, a problem that came to light tonight. You see, I'm a university student living in residence. I wasn't going to return to school in September because I had no clue what to do major- and career-wise, but at the last minute decided 'What the heck," and opted to try classes that I hadn't before to explore my options. I still don't know what to major in, but I don't expect any of you to resolve this as I've spent at least 5 hours with career counsellors/academic advisors.
What I'm really bothered by is this: I came back to residence today. I had been living in a double room alone for most of last semester, having moved in about a month later than everyone else, but was informed before the December break that I might have a roommate in January. I got back this afternoon, settled in, had no roommate, so I went out for the afternoon. When I came back to my room tonight, someone new had settled in on the other side of the room but was nowhere in sight (still haven't met him 5 hours later).
Sitting here waiting has been agonising for me, and I find it's just an extreme case of how my general feelings lately. Talking about it with a friend, she said "I'm sure he'll be fine." I agree (I could live with just about anybody), but discovered that what I'm really nervous about is what he'll think of me, not vice versa! I know it's probably normal to get at least a few jitters when meeting a new roommate for the first time, but I can't get rid of my worries about what he'll think about me, if he'll like me, etc. I had a roommate for a couple short weeks last semester and communicated rarely. He moved to a single room shortly after I moved in (this building sort of houses people waiting for better rooms to become available). Moreover, I haven't really met anyone or made friends in my building and it really worries me. I also feel like the longer I put off trying to make friends, the less likely it is to happen as everyone's already settled in their niches. How did I get to this point? At the end of high school and my first year of university I made a lot of friends and had many good times with them. However, the past two years have been social limbo for me. I lived in residence for a semester last year and came out with absolutely no friends. I'm afraid that might happen again this year and I don't want it to, although I'm not sure how to get over this hump. I don't understand why this shyness and social anxiety has come back to haunt me - would it be fair to associate it with confusion about life right now and the consequent blow to my confidence and esteem over the past couple of years? I've never been a very confident person and I'm not really sure how to cope with that, either.
I would really appreciate any words of advice you may have.