Quote:
Originally Posted by alicat  Hello all,
I posted about 6 months ago about me emotionally abusive husband. I have left him and we have been apart for all this time - he is in USA and I am in UK. To summarise the abuse: he would threaten me, push me, shove me, break my things, refuse to let me leave the house, hid ,my passport from me, took all the money from my account, accuse me of cheating with most men that I worked with or had to be in contact with - even my doctor! He's scared me so much that I feld the country - wow, intense I know!
Since then he has apoligized profusely and says he doesnt want the marriage to end, he is willing to come to UK and live with me, I had entertained this idea, but I know it won't work and that he wont change.
After finally deciding this can't go on, I haven't been sleeping well, I have no appetite and I can't get him out of my head. The doctor has given me some sleeping pills for two weeks, he says if I can't sleep after that then I should go back because I may have depression. I just feel awful - I know that I have to tell him its over, but, I'm dreading it. I have unplugged my landline phone and at night I switch off my mobile. Im a non-confrontational person and have always played the 'victim' role. How do I get out of this nightmare?!  |
I agree with Dancer that you have reached a milestone in recognising the 'victim' role. This is where your problem lies. The only way to ensure you are not victmised is by 'not believing you are the victim' and taking responsibilty for yourself. It isn't easy but you have probably made the hardest decision and will learn to trust yourself.
Non-victims are equipped to make the tough choices. Your first hand experiences can help others to take courage and live the life they deserve. Your suffering is not in vain. It has brought out your strengths. See who you have become because of, or even despite, your pain. They say 'what doesn't kill you makes you strong.
