Quote:
|
Yet still, here I am once again, feeling like I'll never quite measure up . . .
|
What specifically are you trying to measure up to?
Their apparent sense of entitlement? Their apparent level of happiness?
Don't forget you can only see the exterior of other people. 90% of what comprises another person is unknowable to anybody else. Those you envy could be miserable inside, perhaps posting a similar thread on another forum. On top of that, our conclusions about other people are heavily distorted by our emotions and assumptions. These impressions are not to be trusted.
But say you are correct in your appraisals... If others act as if they deserve to be treated well, but you don't, I would guess the difference is the level self-esteem you possess.
I've discovered the reason for my own self-esteem issues is that I am constantly seeking the approval of others. I care what they think. My image in their minds is more important than anything. As a child prodigy, I grew up on praise and reverence, and now I'm an approval junkie.
My concrete idea as for what to try next:
Whenever you have an impulse to do or say something,
ask yourself why you have the urge to do it. You might find these impulses often stem from a desire to garner some sort of approval from others. You tell a joke so they find you amusing. You offer interesting facts so they find you interesting. Every time they laugh, every time they respond with interest, you find it gratifying. If you don't have a good self-image, these bits of external approval might comprise your entire sense of pride. It is possible to have low self-esteem and not even know it.
Really think about this: do you seek these scraps of approval to build your own sense of worth?
I sure do, and realizing that broke down walls for me.