RT Wolf -- in my case, I think it is something very, very fundamental. I read through each of the links you posted, and the one that strikes me most is the last link, where Steve speaks of needing to make a shift in identity.
It is like I have an alternate subconscious personality that is thwarting me. This personality even has the power to affect the outside world so that I find fewer opportunities. It's bizarre. This personality is intent on keeping a certain identity, which has to do with how money is unimportant. In the meantime, I know money is very important because the money situation is spiralling out of control.
Identity shift conflict -- for instance, much of my income comes from eBay. For years I avoided taking on the 'power seller' designation because it looked pretentious to me, the way all the obsession with 'teams' does at corporations, the way employees are no longer employees but 'associates' even if they have no say in anything, secretaries are 'administrative assistants,' store clerks are now 'team members,' and for Pete's sake, the local supermarket is insisting on calling its customers 'guests.' Finally this fall, a couple friends convinced me to accept the 'power seller' designation because buyers find it to be impressive. I said, "ah geez. I'm an old hippie." One said, "You're a businesswoman." Ok. Fine. I accepted the title.
Since then I have steadily been accomplishing having low enough sales figures that soon I won't qualify to be a power seller anymore. I'm not doing this by goofing off and not working. It seems to be 'just happening.' Yet I don't buy that, because I know somehow I am responsible.
There is a code here I need to crack.
 |