In
this thread, I realized that the relationship wasn't working out.
Well, I broke up with him this afternoon. Via email. I know, I'm chicken ♥♥♥♥♥.
I used a stupid argument from Sunday, where he was slightly inconsiderate to me, as an excuse. I feel ill at at how cowardly I am.
My break-up email was a litany of blame (on him), and excuses why I couldn't be his gf. Not once did I take responsibility for myself. I guess I wanted him to feel really sorry. Not that he was a horrible bf. But I wanted him to feel like one. I guess I needed to assuage my guilt on leaving a perfectly nice guy.
He said he wanted to talk to me tomorrow. I asked that we meet up in person, but he hasn't responded. Maybe it's better that we don't meet up. I don't know.
Now what? I am notorious for getting sucked back into relationships after I break things off. I am so afraid of being single.
But I know I did the right thing. It's painful and scary now - but I know I did the right thing. I want to keep doing the right thing, and not allow fear and the status quo to control me.
I feel very scared. This is uncharted territory for me. Already, I'm second-guessing myself. The fear right now is almost unbearable, it feels like a migraine.
Thanks for letting me vent.