[templanoid]

I've considered a lot of the ideas here, but I always feel like i can never really climb out of this hole so far. I just dont know how to be more "open" or let go off myself,etc...I feel like it's not wired in me. And most of the time I just feel apathetic about it..as if I have no energy to do anything about it.

It's as if I haven't reached a low enough point in my life, that's why I'm not that motivated to do something about it. I still have to reach that lower point before I get the energy to really make a change.

I still honestly feel like being a social person with good talking skills is just not "wired" in my brain, and I have no concievable notion on how I can actually gain this trait.

To the guys who've replied: How do I find myself? How do I get comfortable with myself?

What are some physical things I could go to actually make myself beleive that this is all possible? I've been a very objective person and I tend to rely on hard facts to help me believe in something (and thus change it), that's why things like EFT will not work on me, I think. Same goes for the concept of God or any other thing, I just need to see it and have it make sense to believe in it. I'm a very atheist agnostic by nature, but I still believe that life is a very beautiful thing.

So far when I've been out with girls, it's sometimes very silent that it feels a bit awkward (not very awkward though, mind you), and I keep feeling like if they were with someone else they could probably be laughing and smiling all along.

What do you guys think of this? Again, thanks for all the replies, I read each and everyone of them and really appreciate it!