Quote:
Originally Posted by Radical  The reason you don't feel free is because you are stuck in a state of self-conciousness, which is the opposite to a state of self-confidence. |
I like that!... makes a lot of sense.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Radical You just have to try and get into the state of self-confidence that you are in around your friends. However, you are not alone, many people have this problem. |
Like me, for example
wadoo, I can tell you my experience if you want. I'm often see myself like two diferent guys depending on the situation. When I'm with my closest friends I feel free because I don't feel judged, and I'm spontaneus and funny and comfortable. When I'm with people that aren't my closest friends I become rigid, and think about what they are probably thinking, and I doubt about where to look, and what to say, I become passive and nervous... etc etc. I worry too much.
I know that way of acting depends on me, not the others, so I need a way to change my actions, to be congruent with my true self.
So there are also moments at which I choose, consciously or subconsciously that doesn't matter what the rest of the world thinks, and I simply act like if I was confortable. That turns very easy into actually being comfortable with strangers. And then becomes easier to take the following steps...
You know, you often don't see where is the door. And you don't want to take a step until you know where the door is. But the thing is when you start to walk, the doors appears. When taking initiative.
In fact I find that doing it consistently is a hard thing for me. I find I have a lot of inertia back from my passive days... But it's also one of the most rewarding things I'm on. I'm sure someday the inertia will be on the good side. As the same'll be for you.