After the first time I altered my eating style by strictly monitoring my calories two years ago, I had a lot of strong feelings. Some of these feelings including an overwhelming joy for the completion of my goals. Seeing the difference between how I felt at my desired weight and what I had weighed when I started, I couldn't imagine how it would be possible of reverting to my old habits. I could not even begin to understand the concept of yo-yoing.
Despite those imaginings, I have allowed myself to fall prey to the effects of returning to and then exceeding my former weight. It is the 5th day since I have returned to the same standard of eating that I had adopted when losing weight initially. This time around, the overwhelming willpower and motivation seems to be lacking. The first time around, I had just recently come out of the closet and announced my sexuality to the world. I wanted to be in great shape, using many of my homosexual peers as the quintessential model for my health.
At the end of several months, I had made it. Each week that went by, I felt better and better. I started to shop and where form fitting things, an inconceivable notion before the change. We had a conference for Gay Bisexual Lesbian Transgender and Questioning youth, where I would have the opportunity to meet so many other homosexuals; there was the opportunity to make new friends and, potentially, a new love interest. All of these factors were barriers to failure.
In the first trial, two years ago, I weighed 218 at my peak. After months, I attained my goal weight of 168 lbs. Now, I have skyrocketed to 232. After 6 days, I have slimmed to a weight of 227 lbs. I have not been nearly as strict in monitoring my intake of calories, and I had a horrible binge on the third day. I had eaten a significant amount of pasta, two bowls of fettucini alfredo specifically. The next day, however, I got a stomach bug and I hadn't really retained anything eaten on that day. I am trying my best to stick to this, yet I am faced with many obstacles.
My family and friends are not very supportive in my attempts. Earlier today, my mother was making fun of the fact that the jeans I was wearing, which were formally loose, were snug. She poked fun at that in front of relatives who were visiting. Besides that, she proceeded to grab at my stomach, saying "Squishy squiishy." My immediate and extended family have a history of obesity. Both of my parents have undergone gastric bypass surgery to help control their weight. Each of them lost a significant amount of weight.
It is a difficult environment to focus on my goals. The lack of support is not only saddening, but hurtful when faced with situations like the aforementioned.
I am in pursuit of like-minded individuals with similar weight loss goals to create a network of support and encouragement. What better place to look than a personal growth forum, eh? Hehe.
My goal weight is around 165 lbs. So I have about 60 pounds to shed. Anyone up for a joint adventure?