I've posted here about my gf and I before, and our Introvert (me)-Extrovert (her) personalities conflicting at times, and lately it's like we just can't get along at all anymore. I really love the girl, but we're so different that it's as if we cannot see each other's point of view at all. I'm used to being misunderstood as introverts typically are, but I'm not used to not being able to read/understand someone else.
I feel like she cannot grasp the idea of "It's nothing personal but I need my space and want to be left alone tonight". I cannot achieve this without upsetting her (usually by finally becoming blunt after trying to say it nicely a few times and getting annoyed by her either not understanding or not respecting it).
Case in point is tonight, all I wanted to do was spend a night home by myself getting my apt clean, and relaxing. She's about to move and is in the middle of getting her stuff organized, and I'm going there to move the heavy stuff into a trailer for her tomorrow, then helping her get it all moved in monday- and she calls me tonight wanting me to come help her as well with the organizing, I said no, she of course has to respond sounding like I just told her that her dog had died,and this leads into a big argument- all I can think is "Why the hell do you have to respond like that?"
Believe me, I KNOW that women will pull that sort of thing to try and manipulate someone into feeling guilty and then helping them, and this is always what I think of when she does this and it pisses me off- I can't help it. I'm not the type who likes to ask people to help me do things that no one likes to do, such as cleaning. I'd rather do it all on my own and just suffer through it than drag anyone else in as well. I just cannot understand the thought of, if I did ask someone and they refused for whatever reason, feeling upset and like my whole night was ruined because of it- I'd just suck it up and do it myself since it was MY responsibility to do in the first place! I guess it's this reasoning that causes me to always jump to the "she's trying to manipulate me" conclusion- I've brought this up and she swears it isn't the case, but who knows, I think some people do this without being conciously aware of it.
With the above as an example for tonight, it seems like now our "good times" are actually outnumbered by times we're either annoyed, frustrated, or angry with each other, but at the same time I love the girl and really don't want to end everything if we can somehow make it better. We've talked about this and just can't seem to fix it and make it last.
It seems like relationships are so much more fun in the beginning because you only do the fun stuff together, and keep all of the drudgery out of it- I just want that back with her which may not be realistic, but sometimes it feels like we're an old married couple and I'm only 25! In all honesty, every relationship I've ever been in, and even though they've been mostly good ones, they've all just reinforced my feeling of never, ever wanting to get married. It's just not for me.
Sorry if I'm rambling, I've got that bizarre mixed feeling going right now that's one part sadness, one part apathy, and one part wanting to punch the wall in. I really don't want the good things we have together, and there are many, to end, but it feels like our relationship is spiraling away out of the control of either of us. I'm not the type who would go crazy with grief from breaking up- I'd be upset and depressed for awhile, but I'd be ok in the long run, so I'm really not a big fan of clinging to something that isn't working and I've broken up with girls I felt strongly about before because of this, so my wanting to hold onto our relationship here tells me that I really do want to be with the girl, if that makes sense. I just want HER to make sense, and to understand my point of view as well
Any ideas/advice would be appreciated, even if you think it's what I "don't want to hear"- please fire away, cause it'll come in handy.