NLP techniques could probably help you. I saw a woman use NLP to prepare a court witness to face her abusive husband. I watched the woman go from mousy and scared to totally empowered and in control.
NLP stands for neuro linguistic programming (I believe). What you want to do is imagine this guy in your mind. chances are that when you do so you'll start to feel nervous and threatened. Now, piece by piece you're going to change the image. First, make it black and white. Next make it really small, like the size of your thumbnail. That will probably take much of the edge off right there. Imagine yourself standing very tall over his little thumbnail sized body. You know you could squish him under your foot if you wanted to.
Now, in this mode, with this image in your head, tell him you don't want any more contact with him, that your relationship is over.
In real life, when you tell him this, and you will, keep that image of him being small and black and white in your mind. Every time he tries to engage you or pleads and whines keep repeating one phrase, "it's over. We're done. That's it." Until he gets it. Don't answer his questions. Don't play into his hands. Just keep repeating, 'It's over. We're done. That's it." YOu are not required to answer anything he says. You can completely ignore anything he says to you and simply tell him what you want him to know.
Practice doing this and you'll feel better about it. Write it down and have it next to you when you talk to him. Don't wait for him to call, you pick the time and call him.
You can do it! Good luck!
|