Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - How can i break myself of computer habit-addiction?

bwb · 01-04-2008, 06:38 AM

Hi Jack,

I don't think anyone gets addicted to using the computer the same way that people get addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, or cocaine. If the power was out and you couldn't use your computer, would you start having painful withdrawal symptoms? Probably not. You might be bored, you might be anxious, heck, you might even feel liberated, but I'm pretty sure that you won't be a shivering, vomiting wreck. That's the good news: changing this behavior isn't gonna kill you, and it's not going to feel like it's going to kill you. Of the things in the world you could be using compulsively, the computer is one of the less harmful.

So you're not addicted? What's wrong with you? Nothing! You're human. You run on patterns, just like everyone else does. Our interactions with the world around us are much too complicated for our conscious minds to direct our every move, so really it's our learned patterns (habits) that drive our behavior, and our mind that creates the illusion that we're consciously deciding what to do. Don't believe me? How do you drive a car, take a shower, get dressed, play WoW, type your password? Think about it. Now do you notice that it takes a lot more mental effort to think about how you really, specifically, do these things that you do all the time than it does to actually DO THEM?

Just about all of the stuff we do is being handled for us transparently by our unconscious mind. This is the trade-off that's made so that we can have this powerful self-awareness that makes us human and yet still perform all of the thousands and thousands of actions do everyday without having to spend more CPU power than we have just thinking about them all the time.

The scary thing is that because our conscious mind has ceded responsibility of just about everything to the unconscious mind, it has also ceded CONTROL. When you got up this morning and went straight to the computer, were you (and by "you" I mean your conscious mind) in control? Nope! Surely not, because that part of you wants to break this compulsion. Your unconscious mind was firmly in charge and running your usual morning pattern. That pattern has been repeated so much and is so hard-wired into you now that it has more control over your conscious mind than your conscious mind has over it.

Not only are we beyond direct control of these patterns, but it seems that we have a special part of our brain dedicated to maintaining our illusion of control by rationalizing away the things we do. I'll bet it convinced you that it was your fault that today was just like every other day, and told you that you just don't have any willpower, and that you could do something else if you really wanted to. Your own brain is lying to you! Your pattern ran, your conscious mind didn't like it, and your rationalization center kicked in and explained everything away. Sure, you're in control, you just didn't want to do something different. Hogwash.

Okay, problem stated. What is the solution?

You cannot attack the problem directly; your pattern is way too strong. Go listen to Steve's podcast on patterns: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...l-development/

or check out one of Tony Robbins' programs (book/audio/seminar).

You need to do three key things:

1. Interrupt your pattern (get control!)
2. Use this opportunity to replace it with a new pattern
3. REPEAT!

How can you interrupt your pattern? What about taping a post-it note to your monitor that says "READ A BOOK!". Put a book you've been wanting to read right next to it. Unplug the computer. Hide the keyboard somewhere where it'll take you a few minutes to retrieve it, like a high cabinet you'd need to stand on a chair to reach. When you get up in the morning and walk over to the computer, whoops, something's different! Your computer's not usable, and you've got a note from yourself with an alternate task. Hopefully this snaps you out of your pattern long enough that you'll actually start READING the book. If not, then you've still got a few minutes of going to fetch the keyboard in which to snap out of your pattern. This shouldn't be too hard; you're already doing something different from your routine.

You don't have to wait until the morning to do this. Surely you get up from your computer throughout the day to attend to various needs, and then you come back to it and immediately sit down and start using it again. Use one of these opportunities to insert a pattern break. Set things up so that your old pattern can't complete, because the computer is off, or there's a blanket draped over the monitor, or something. Set it up so you CAN'T run your old pattern to completion.

Okay, now you've interrupted the pattern. You've got to do something different now. You must create a new pattern, or you will quickly revert to your old one. Maybe you want to read a book for 30 minutes or so. If the weather's nice, maybe you want to go for a bike ride. You've got to set this up BEFORE you start running your pattern, because you've got such a brief window of time after your pattern gets interrupted in which to make a change. Have the bike tires pumped up and everything ready to go. Swap the keyboard for your bike helmet and a full water bottle.

Don't start with anything too ambitious. You want to start meditating, and you want to get over your social phobia, I'm sure, but you've built up huge internal resistance to both of these goals already, so trying to jump straight from a very comfortable activity to a very uncomfortable activity is not going to be successful. Find something you enjoy doing that isn't computer-related. You can work up to meditation and parties.

Final step, and by far the most important: REPEAT. Patterns are built by repetition. You can't just kill off an old pattern; you have to replace it with a new one. To build the new one, you have to repeat it. Make sure that you've set something up to interrupt your pattern, every time, and set yourself up to do something else that you enjoy, every time.

Your computer compulsion is likely not just one, but many patterns, all triggered by different stimuli that make up your daily routine. Wake up: use the computer. Hungry: eat, use computer. Bladder full: pee, use computer. You can try to target the general-case pattern of "see computer, sit at computer, use computer", but this one is so well entrenched that it will present quite a challenge. Identify one pattern that you run every day that ends with you sitting in front of the computer, figure out how to interrupt it, figure out what you want to be doing, and set everything up for success. Then set things up so that you'll KEEP DOING THIS. Write yourself a reminder to do these things. Build a pattern for breaking and building patterns. You will find this a most useful tool.

I hope this helps you. If you got nothing else out of this post, my key message is that you must set yourself up for success. Your conscious mind will not be in control when you need to make these changes, so you have to rig everything in advance. In a way, it's like playing chess with part of your own brain, except that while your opponent can make moves instantly, he is entirely predictable, and thus he is easy to beat if you can think just a couple moves ahead!

-Brian

P.S. For more examples of how to work this habit-changing process, see Steve's posts on becoming an early riser, where he talks about how to train yourself to stop hitting snooze on your alarm clock. I'm due for a refresher on this training, personally! The mind's job is never done.

01-04-2008, 06:38 AM	#2 (permalink)
bwb Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 33	Hi Jack, I don't think anyone gets addicted to using the computer the same way that people get addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, or cocaine. If the power was out and you couldn't use your computer, would you start having painful withdrawal symptoms? Probably not. You might be bored, you might be anxious, heck, you might even feel liberated, but I'm pretty sure that you won't be a shivering, vomiting wreck. That's the good news: changing this behavior isn't gonna kill you, and it's not going to feel like it's going to kill you. Of the things in the world you could be using compulsively, the computer is one of the less harmful. So you're not addicted? What's wrong with you? Nothing! You're human. You run on patterns, just like everyone else does. Our interactions with the world around us are much too complicated for our conscious minds to direct our every move, so really it's our learned patterns (habits) that drive our behavior, and our mind that creates the illusion that we're consciously deciding what to do. Don't believe me? How do you drive a car, take a shower, get dressed, play WoW, type your password? Think about it. Now do you notice that it takes a lot more mental effort to think about how you really, specifically, do these things that you do all the time than it does to actually DO THEM? Just about all of the stuff we do is being handled for us transparently by our unconscious mind. This is the trade-off that's made so that we can have this powerful self-awareness that makes us human and yet still perform all of the thousands and thousands of actions do everyday without having to spend more CPU power than we have just thinking about them all the time. The scary thing is that because our conscious mind has ceded responsibility of just about everything to the unconscious mind, it has also ceded CONTROL. When you got up this morning and went straight to the computer, were you (and by "you" I mean your conscious mind) in control? Nope! Surely not, because that part of you wants to break this compulsion. Your unconscious mind was firmly in charge and running your usual morning pattern. That pattern has been repeated so much and is so hard-wired into you now that it has more control over your conscious mind than your conscious mind has over it. Not only are we beyond direct control of these patterns, but it seems that we have a special part of our brain dedicated to maintaining our illusion of control by rationalizing away the things we do. I'll bet it convinced you that it was your fault that today was just like every other day, and told you that you just don't have any willpower, and that you could do something else if you really wanted to. Your own brain is lying to you! Your pattern ran, your conscious mind didn't like it, and your rationalization center kicked in and explained everything away. Sure, you're in control, you just didn't want to do something different. Hogwash. Okay, problem stated. What is the solution? You cannot attack the problem directly; your pattern is way too strong. Go listen to Steve's podcast on patterns: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...l-development/ or check out one of Tony Robbins' programs (book/audio/seminar). You need to do three key things: 1. Interrupt your pattern (get control!) 2. Use this opportunity to replace it with a new pattern 3. REPEAT! How can you interrupt your pattern? What about taping a post-it note to your monitor that says "READ A BOOK!". Put a book you've been wanting to read right next to it. Unplug the computer. Hide the keyboard somewhere where it'll take you a few minutes to retrieve it, like a high cabinet you'd need to stand on a chair to reach. When you get up in the morning and walk over to the computer, whoops, something's different! Your computer's not usable, and you've got a note from yourself with an alternate task. Hopefully this snaps you out of your pattern long enough that you'll actually start READING the book. If not, then you've still got a few minutes of going to fetch the keyboard in which to snap out of your pattern. This shouldn't be too hard; you're already doing something different from your routine. You don't have to wait until the morning to do this. Surely you get up from your computer throughout the day to attend to various needs, and then you come back to it and immediately sit down and start using it again. Use one of these opportunities to insert a pattern break. Set things up so that your old pattern can't complete, because the computer is off, or there's a blanket draped over the monitor, or something. Set it up so you CAN'T run your old pattern to completion. Okay, now you've interrupted the pattern. You've got to do something different now. You must create a new pattern, or you will quickly revert to your old one. Maybe you want to read a book for 30 minutes or so. If the weather's nice, maybe you want to go for a bike ride. You've got to set this up BEFORE you start running your pattern, because you've got such a brief window of time after your pattern gets interrupted in which to make a change. Have the bike tires pumped up and everything ready to go. Swap the keyboard for your bike helmet and a full water bottle. Don't start with anything too ambitious. You want to start meditating, and you want to get over your social phobia, I'm sure, but you've built up huge internal resistance to both of these goals already, so trying to jump straight from a very comfortable activity to a very uncomfortable activity is not going to be successful. Find something you enjoy doing that isn't computer-related. You can work up to meditation and parties. Final step, and by far the most important: REPEAT. Patterns are built by repetition. You can't just kill off an old pattern; you have to replace it with a new one. To build the new one, you have to repeat it. Make sure that you've set something up to interrupt your pattern, every time, and set yourself up to do something else that you enjoy, every time. Your computer compulsion is likely not just one, but many patterns, all triggered by different stimuli that make up your daily routine. Wake up: use the computer. Hungry: eat, use computer. Bladder full: pee, use computer. You can try to target the general-case pattern of "see computer, sit at computer, use computer", but this one is so well entrenched that it will present quite a challenge. Identify one pattern that you run every day that ends with you sitting in front of the computer, figure out how to interrupt it, figure out what you want to be doing, and set everything up for success. Then set things up so that you'll KEEP DOING THIS. Write yourself a reminder to do these things. Build a pattern for breaking and building patterns. You will find this a most useful tool. I hope this helps you. If you got nothing else out of this post, my key message is that you must set yourself up for success. Your conscious mind will not be in control when you need to make these changes, so you have to rig everything in advance. In a way, it's like playing chess with part of your own brain, except that while your opponent can make moves instantly, he is entirely predictable, and thus he is easy to beat if you can think just a couple moves ahead! -Brian P.S. For more examples of how to work this habit-changing process, see Steve's posts on becoming an early riser, where he talks about how to train yourself to stop hitting snooze on your alarm clock. I'm due for a refresher on this training, personally! The mind's job is never done.