I think it's interesting and somewhat ironic that you say that you don't know what you want- yet you so clearly do. You express it in great detail and very eloquently in your post. Don't doubt yourself or your inner voice. Being conflicted doesn't mean you don't know what you want, it means that you want 2 things that can't exist conjointly.
What I'm hearing in your post is that the essence of you -who you are, what you need, and what you want to do that is fulfilling- cannot exist within the confines of your current situation. You express that very well. The trick is to determine if there's any way that you can create a reality that contains both you living your life to it's greatest potential and maintaining this relationship. How might you go about creating that?
Only you have answers. The only way you'll find the right answers is to trust and listen to yourself.
|