[sonicpunk32]

I was waiting for an answer like yours. Heh, good ol' you-create-it-all. Well, Angela, I've looked, I dont see it. Unless my subconscious was traumatized as an infant and forever cast people away. Actually I've been told this was the case by many of the psychics I've talked to. They all tell me to mediate and "go within." Well, I've tried that, and funny thing is, my subconscious doesnt want me to go "within." It's keeping me out! Can you believe this? Nothing I've tried has gotten my subconscious to open up to me. No one has been able to help. I'm my own worst enemy.

I dont understand this. How do you connect to your own innerself if it doesnt want you to? Yeah, I'm pretty sure of it now. My subconscious prevents me from entering elevated states of consciousness. So when I try to meditate, it blocks. Even my dreams are cut off and weak. I think it's protecting me from something that I'll see. So what's the result of all this? Fatigue from lack of a complete sleep, poor visualization and concentration skills from an inabiliy to reach those alpha brain states. The list just goes on and on. Weak intuitive and imaginative skills because my subconscious has turned off these parts of my brain. And for what.... protection from some horrible thing that happened to me when I was a baby? I'm my own worst enemy. It radiates a signal to everyone I come in contact with to stay away from me. This explains alot, about why the people in my life are this way, but what it doesnt explain is how to get my subconscious to open up again when it doesnt even want ME (the conscious mind) from contacting it.