I've been in that situation before. It sucks. There is a vague line between being jealous and having common sense.
My girlfriend had a similar friend, his name was Tom, she would text him and talk to him on the phone sometimes. I knew him before, and from the very beginning I kept telling her, "Look, I think he likes you, and he doesn't care that you're in a relationship." Well, obviously, she denied it, saying all the great stuff girls love to say: "Nooo, he's just a friend. I just like him as a friend, he doesn't really like me, he's better than that."
What can we do? Just trust your girlfriend and ride it out. See what happens, but don't get too hung up on it because life goes on. In your situation, the possible outcomes I can think of are:
1. She doesn't like him, he doesn't like her. They remain friends. (personally, I doubt this one is very likely)
2. He likes her, she doesn't like him. She sees that he does like him and either does nothing, talks to him less, or stops contacting him.
3. He likes her, she likes him. She will eventually leave you at the appropriate time, and is stringing you along because she can't be with the guy that she really likes.
Whatever it may be, you shouldn't make a big deal about it. Even if it's the terrible third option, life goes on. In my situation, my girlfriend really was naive enough to trust that he didn't like her, and then one time when they went to lunch and a movie as "friends," he made a move on her. She didn't tell me about that until like a year later, but she did suddenly change her mind and believe that he liked her. She stopped talking to him after that.
Another time, she met a guy from America at university (we live in Australia). From the get-go, I had a feeling that she liked him. I just told her, "I think you like that guy," and she would go on these huge rants about how she doesn't like him but she's "interested" in him, and a whole lot of other stuff. Well I eventually got the truth out of her after making a proposal of what I thought her feelings for him were. She did like him, but she barely saw him and he was going back to America soon.
Not the most wonderful thing to deal with, as her boyfriend, but that kind of stuff is normal. I'm glad she told me about it, because in a lot of relationships people hide those feelings. What she felt for that guy, whom she barely knew, was a bit of shallow attraction, a crush. I've been attracted to other girls while in the relationship with my girlfriend as well. People are animals, it's hard for them to control those feelings. But people are also logical, and in my girlfriend's case, her long-term relationship with her loving boyfriend was more important to her than her instinctual attractions.
Anyway, If your girlfriend does like this other guy, and is just waiting until she can be with him, why should that ruin your life? Why should you be depressed?
If anything, that makes it blatantly obvious that she is not the love of your life. The love of your life wouldn't do a thing like that.
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