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i have isolated myself once before. where i just left i was isolated. i just had him. then he met this girl offline so she can be a third and have threesomes and stuff. and he suddenly had her move on in. i was even more isolated and felt alone. the girl tried to be my friend but i was so sad and disappointed...i just want to work things out with my grandparents and just stay here. and i dont want to go back to dancing again, so im going to have to stay here. cause i have no credit, and no job. only other place i can go is back to him and that place...
i just want to stop thinking about all the bad days me and that man had together, all the mean names he called me like a bitch and raggedy and im mental everytime i tried to speak up. altho i tried to love him i couldn't fully cause i always felt in my heart he was hiding or lying. i just want to move on and make sure i dont talk to him again. im going to change my number in the morning. i dont care if he destroys my things at that house. i dont have much there anyway and they are just things, i can always get more things. but i just want to move on, stop the hurt, and just forgive...
i was thinking about whats making me stop from forgiving. there are so many reasons. how do i stop my mind from wandering on all the past negatives when i need to stop and just forgive and think in the present...
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This is what some wise person told me the other day on this very forum
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Right now you are trapped in your thoughts at the moment, but because the thoughts are everything you have, you can't see the cage that's built around you. The cage is your world and you are stuck. Finding the door of the cage is all that you need to be doing now, and once you find it you will have the freedom from all the worry and the anxiety that you've been looking for.
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None of us are perfect and we all have our issues, I think you have made the first step in solving your problem, talking about it!..
I can go on and on and even tell you my life story but I'm not sure it would be appropriate in this forum. All I can say is that it took me many years to realize what I had done to myself by building cages and isolating myself from others.
When you meet a sweet and loving and caring guy who loves you for who you are and just wants to please you. Your thoughts of this other guy will fade away because he will become your world and there wont be a need to think about the past.
But the key I think is the way you go about doing it, if you dont want to find a dirt bag you have to be patient, and learn about each guy you meet.. Date them for a while and get to know them past and present.
Right now you can say I isolated myself from everything else by moving away and getting a fresh start, Perhaps this is true but you know what, I've isolated my self into a happy moment. And because im happy I have began to fix things with myself that I could not fix when I was unhappy and depressed.
Perhaps all I ever wanted to be happy was to live the american dream, something I was denied as a child. And now im a single bachelor that has my own place, a decent job and an opportunity to make my life better.
I can be a little over talkative at times, I hope this is relevant.