Thanks for the response. I've really been thinking hard about it all today and reading a website the doctor gave me about it all. I'm still not feeling good about it. Ideally I'd rather lose it the natural way but I struggle with emotional eating and food addiction. I know all about what to eat, what is healthy and what is not. My doctor said I do not have binge eating disorder and I agree with him there. I really don't eat much on a regular basis.
I am currently 425 lbs and my goal is 300 lbs. I know 300 is alot but the doctor said alot of my weight is genetic and that I will never be slim and I am fine with that. To be honest I don't even feel fat most of the time and until recently have been very healthy. But I was diagnosed with diabetes last year and am 43 years old and know that this weight is putting a strain on my heart. And I know that at 300 lbs I will be well enough to do the things I used to (travel, walk around museums, etc.).
I had a doctor once tell me that I was "too smart to be fat" which at the time pissed me off but I understand it now. I know about nutrition and logically know what I should and shouldn't be doing. Unfortunately, with addiction and emotions, logic goes out the window.
This doctor yesterday also told me that counselling will not help. This really bummed me out because that was what I was looking for. Someone to help through the addiction and emotional aspect, to figure out why I sabotage myself at times and why I must put that Tim Bit in my mouth even when I'm telling myself not to.
This is a long answer and I am sorry for rambling. I started a web site a few weeks ago with a journal (never really journaled before) that I'm hoping with help me get a grip on some of these emotions I am squashing with food.
Thanks to everyone for reading this and for any support/advice that you can offer.
Diary of a Fat White Woman - My Struggles with Food Addiction