For a while I focused on close affectionate friendships in part to avoid the issues that come up in romantic relationships. As I delve back into the romantic arena I do so with the feeling that if/when things end it'll be okay. Crying and feeling out of it for a while is fine. Negative feelings don't last very long as I've learned to process them, hence I'm more comfortable with taking emotional risks and leaving myself vulnerable at times rather than always having my guard up, giving deep connections with others a chance to form.
Though I'm enjoying the love I receive and share with my girlfriend right now, and she's the first woman I've come across that it feels I could happily spend every moment with (usually I end up wanting space after a few hours), my primary source of love and acceptance is myself. I've been surprised at how comfortable I feel with Elle and how much I actually enjoy the thought of sharing a commitment with her. Still, I feel that something needn't last forever in order to be worthwhile. Whether we're together another few months or 30+ years, so far it's been a rewarding experience.
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