Hey,
I didn't quite read all of the post or commentary but I did skim it; and the replies seemed a little harsh, so I'm sorry (though do learn from it what annoys your readers). I understand you probably aren't posting because of the individual incident so much as because it is a pattern in your life that you'd like to understand better/change.
I'm similarly somewhat socially awkward, and I have a cousin who is similarly concerned with appearances and easily embarassed. Ever since we were children, when we would go out in public she would scold me for eating too fast and loudly, for making random comments, for dressing oddly, for not being friendly enough, for bringing a book to read when I wasn't interested in socializing... I used to get upset with the criticism, partially because I knew it was true but I was frustrated with trying to change it and partially because I thought she should chill and stop judging me.
I've since realized that the problem wasn't entirely either one of us, but is the interaction between someone socially awkward/introverted and someone with self-esteem issues and a huge fear of embarressement. I also realized that I couldn't change her by repeatedly insisting that superficial things don't matter, but I could try to change/moderate my weirdness when around her, learn to ignore the comments and her embarassment, and/or spend less time with her especially in public settings where she would get embarressed. When I eat out with her I do make a conscious effort to eat slowly and quietly, I ask her opinion on clothes before we go to big events, I keep quiet but smile a lot and ask a few questions, etc so she can be more comfortable; I am more confident in myself- that I'm not perfect but there are a lot of great things about me, that there are many people in the world who don't think I'm socially awkward at all- so I don't take her criticism personally, but do usually apologize "sorry for embarrassing you" if I think I did do something a little odd; and I try to spend time with her in quieter situations and among friends where she is more comfortable rather than in public, meeting new people, where she will be most easily embarrassed. Maybe some of this makes sense and would apply in your situation as well?
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