I don't compare past loves. Each one was different and had lots chemistry. Maybe there's a certain thresehold that makes the chemistry to be attracted to someone. Not each girl I meet will I get a chemistry hit. But I see it more as it's there or it isnt and the level is something that changes a bit anyway with someone, especially if you start physical things the chemistry gets amplified. Or bad emotional chemistry can ruin the romanitc chemistry.
You are smart I see that.
I'm not sure how much playing things in your head is testing what is.
I'l glad you see a glimmer of hope.