Quote:
Originally Posted by wolfgang  IOr I think of work of doing chores around the house. If I stopped doing the chores that I don't like doing - what would the house look like? |
Unless you hired someone to take care of them for you, or looked outside the box to get things done (trading with someone else, co-op cleaning group...), it would look like hell.
I know because I've done it. I was in transition time from unschooling (homeschooling with no curriculum, learning from life) to radical unschooling (the kids have autonomy over their lives, actions and activities; no coercion in parenting them - it's much, much more than this, but that sums most of it up) and I realized that either I was *making* the boys clean, or I was cleaning very resentfully. I heard of other RU families cleaning together joyfully, and that's what I wanted. To get there, *I* had to start cleaning joyfully - and I was nowhere near there. (LOTS of childhood baggage from a clean-freak perfectionist mother) So - I figured if I couldn't clean joyfully, I wasn't going to clean. I did only what I wanted to do, and didn't MAKE the boys do anything. I also didn't find the money to hire someone, nor did I think outside the box - I tend to do things *very alone*. (I'm a single mom, so no one else had to deal with this.)
I won't go into detail about my experiment, but I will say I am now cleaning my home gratefully and joyfully. I love to wash the dishes, because I love how it feels when I go to prepare a meal, and everything is ready. I did always do the laundry, because both the boys and I feel loved and cared for when we have clean clothes, so I've always enjoyed washing the clothes and hanging them out to dry. I now pick up toys, games, etc. with gratitude for the fun my guys derived from playing with them. I pick up trash and paper because I like having a clear space to walk in, and I like how it feels to have order. Now - this isn't always, of every minute - I am human - but it's SO much better than it used to be. And it's contagious! My oldest will straighten things without being asked - because he likes things to be straight. When I'm doing the dishes, (we don't have a dishwasher) either one of them might come in and help dry, or start washing. They're more likely to help now when I ask them (they know they can say no, and that will be honored). There's no resentment or resistance.
The way I did it, it looked a LOT worse before it got better. There are probably other ways to achieve the same thing.