I have been reading other posts seeing if there are things I can learn from people who are trying to develop social skills that are "like me".
Here is a post that goes along with this discussion.
Basicly he says that people think im a loser when I try to engage in small talk because I don't do it correctly or in the manner he prefers and that is what he contantly critizes me about. I dont care that much what other people think of me but I do not want people to "automaticly" think im a loser without giving me a chance to show them who I am beyond the useless small talk.
Basicly he says that people think Im a loser because of how I attempt to engage in small talk and sometimes add more than what should be said.
Quote:
Jennihul Jennihul is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 227
Jennihul is on a distinguished road
Send a message via Yahoo to Jennihul
Default
Robert makes a great point.
Be careful of self-development. There are times when my husband is listening in on something I am studying and he'll shake his head and say "This stuff is for total losers? Why are you listening to this?"
My point to him is that I have never had trouble discerning between what I need to learn and what I already know. I can separate the wheat from the chafe with no problems. However, some people in SD world head into an area of study needing help with something specific and by the time they leave, they have developed the idea that there are a million things wrong with them. These problems are often projections of other people's own dysfunctions. Don't take them upon yourself by accident. Or grow them into monsters when they really only started out as fleas.
I've lived most of my life as a shy person. I made drastic changes like divorcing my first husband, getting myself in shape, moving to a new state, meeting a man more suitable to me and opening myself up to the idea that fear of rejection is really only fear of rejecting MYSELF, in disguise. I find it impossible to be shy any longer.
This reminds me of myself
If you want to be more outgoing, you need to MODEL people who are more outgoing, not necessarily hang out with people who are more outgoing.
Jennifer
|