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Originally Posted by yossarian  I don't do these things because I aspire to be something or to look a certain way, I do them because they give me great joy and happiness. This joy and happiness, combined with pacifism and a strong moral code, seems to make me a big target for those who don't consider these things to be virtues. Homer Simpson abuses Ned Flanders in the same way that most people abuse me when I show them my true self. |
Although I don't watch The Simpsons that regularly, I see a difference between the traits you describe for yourself and Ned Flanders. In my perception, people don't hate him because he's a pacifist or has a strong moral code or enjoys life, but because he seems obsessed with religion and his ideas about how things have to be and expects everyone to agree with him. He practically forces people around him to conform to his ideas and perspective of the world which makes being with him awkward for everyone. I wouldn't want to be around that guy! He is simply not acknowledging other people for who they are.
Yet I doubt anyone has a problem with you because of the things you described. On the contrary, I believe most people will admire you for that (I do). There are probably other reasons for your perceptions. I get the feeling that you are over generalizing. There are people who attack at the first sign of weakness, and they are, in a sense, very 'loud', thus able to take up much of ones reality if one lets that happen (which humans have a tendency to do).
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I just noticed you live in Germany. From what I've heard it's a much more compassionate atmosphere. You may not realize how incredibly brutal and materialistic the North American TypeA culture is.
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Germany has been called one of the unhealthiest places to live for people with social anxiety by several social phobics I know who left the country just because of that.
Concerning girls: I'd agree with Rose that the problem in general is not girls rejecting shy guys. Usually, the shy guys reject the girl first because they know that they seem insecure and can't (or rather don't want to) deal with that.