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Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo I think the point I was trying to make is that if the shy guy could allow more closeness, he would get more girls. It's often not the girls who are not interested but the shy guy who can't avail himself of the opportunity of letting it happen.
It's not only talking about it or asking out, it has also a lot to do with body language. Shy guys tend to send many mixed signals, like "yes I'm interested, but I'm scared, and I want, but I don't want, and don't you come too close!" So what can a girl do in such a situation? Nothing but think "well... too bad..." We don't want to rape you either!  |
Yeah I agree, this is why shy guys consider it such a curse. If they weren't shy, then they'd be able to get close.
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I don't know any Ned Flanders, would you please explain to me with words how you behave, and why this is doomed to be answered with abuse and degradation?
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Ned Flanders is a character on The Simpsons... you must get The Simpsons in Germany?
When I'm in a comfortable place where I don't fear getting abused I am a pretty happy, outgoing, generous, hardworking, carefree person who laughs a lot and doesn't really worry about anything or take things very seriously. I also have a pretty powerful moral ethic and so I don't harm other beings or commit emotional violence, manipulate, lie. I'm very committed to pacifism and non-violence of all kinds. This means mental, emotional, physical and any kinds of indirect violence. I've been a vegetarian for years, and everything I do I think about longterm consequences and how it will effect the whole world. This means I don't do things like litter or smoke.
I don't do these things because I aspire to be something or to look a certain way, I do them because they give me great joy and happiness. This joy and happiness, combined with pacifism and a strong moral code, seems to make me a big target for those who don't consider these things to be virtues. Homer Simpson abuses Ned Flanders in the same way that most people abuse me when I show them my true self.