So, fraj, you want what you want (your cake and eating it, too). What are you asking of us here? I think "advice on how to be content" with your dilemma is not exactly what you're really looking for.
You are faced with choices based on your conflicting desires. I think the most basic of these choices is: "Am I going to act with integrity, or not?" Are you going to behave with honor for your wife, either by keeping your word about your marriage vows or by renegotiating them? Or are you going to try to weasel around, sneaking, lying, pretending? Or are you going to remain in limbo, wishing and resenting?
All of the choices you're faced with rest upon that one underlying choice: Do you have integrity, or not? |