I really hope you do get some less confrontational advice here, in fact I am sure you will. And after I say what I am about to say I will gladly bow out of the conversation if you'd like.
I want you to know I can sympathize with what you are feeling, but the part where you said "if she found out" is what bothers me. Please whatever you do don't lie to your wife. I know we don't owe anything to anyone, but I think that it's the least you can do for someone who's shared a life with you, especially one that seems to have been really great.
I was only eight years old when you and your wife got married, so I can't pretend I have the experience to even say this to you, but sometimes being a grown up means not doing something just because you feel like it. The reason considering being with this other woman is so enticing is because it's taboo. That's what I think at least - new and different. What would the reality be if you left your wife for her? The flirtiness that goes on in offices does not have anything to do with the realities of day to day life with someone. Like you said, you still love your wife and don't want to leave her. So what is this really about? What is it you gain by having sex with someone outside your marriage?
Have you considered discussing your feelings with your wife? And since I think you were responding when I was editing my last post, what would your reaction be if you found your wife was having feelings like this, to the extent she was flirting with a coworker on more than just a friendly level?
|