If you want to be with a soulmate, be a soulmate.
Recognize that you are perfect, whole, and complete, whether you have a companion or lover, or you are alone. Be a person into whose life your soulmate can step confidently, joyfully, and peacefully. You have the power to generate for yourself what you want, and what you think you will find only in your perfect match.
All the old pain you carry with you now in your search for a mate will determine the kind of match you will find. If you plunge headlong into a new relationship, still hauling around pain from the old one, the people who will be attracted and attractive to you will be the people whose pain complements yours -- you will continue to live out the pain again and again until you complete it. You'll say to yourself, "why, oh why, do I always find myself in the same kind of relationship?!? or no relationship at all." and the answer to that is: because you continue time and time again to bring the same way of being to your encounters with potential mates.
Try a new way of being -- one that inspires you! One that is geared at least as much towards generating a life you are in love with as it is towards finding a soulmate. Inspired action will arise naturally out of your new, inspired way of being.
You have been suffering for five years because you have been being, "I can only be happy if I'm with Mr. Feelings." Try on another way of being! You may want to get help in getting there via The Work of Byron Katie, The Landmark Forum, talk therapy, journaling, or speaking with a friend who has the kind of relationship you'd like to be in.
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