First, I'm issuing a disclaimer because I haven't actually practiced this IRL yet. We'll have to see how I do with the concept next time I fall in love as there hasn't been any (serious) romantic love in my life since learning all this. (I promise to report back!) I have successfully practiced a similar *outcome detachment* as it applies to my kids.
What I get out of the concept of loving without attachment is that I am fully complete, whole and free, in and of myself. As such, the addition of another person is not necessary to "complete me" (as Jerry Maguire said), nor will the loss of that other person delete anything that is me.
So to achieve this, when I'm dating - I don't project into the future as to how the relationship may play out. When I'm in a committed relationship or married, I don't project into the future as to how the relationship may play out. What I do is live in the Now. Revel in the love, joy, companionship of each moment. Then, if and when it passes, I realease it, acknowledging that it was what it was when it was. Granted, you're right that this is hard to do, but a desirable approach, IMO.
With this approach, there is no fear of rejection or abandonment or failure because I cannot be rejected, abandoned or viewed as a failure by my Self who is complete, whole and free. Could there be sadness and grief at the transition? Heartbreak, even? Sure. But not at the loss of a complete me.
It's not that I don't care about the relationship or about my partner, it's that I don't have to have it happen a specific way to be ok.
As far as trust is concerned, I think that comes into play in a relationship not as me trusting the other person, nor even as trust of the couple, but trust in myself. Trust that no matter how this plays out, I will be whole and complete.
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