[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by bsitto

...the strength of chemistry and attraction can almost determine the compatibility of two people. Without it there isn't much to work with. I have discovered that the stronger the chemistry the deeper the capacity for love.

I think that is true - that there are chemistry levels between people that just is. But if there's no emotional maturity it will be difficult even if the chemistry is high. I think often unavailable love interests makes it easier to ignore the emotional maturity parts. The situation of someone you can't really hang out with doesn't let you see their true colors or behaviours which might require having emotional maturity to deal with. But those tests are not avaiable with someone that is already with someone.

If you can tell me how you would be able to tell yourself one thing as true (i will find someone better) but everthing is screaming inside that what you found is the deepest connection you will ever have. How do you tell yourself one thing and your guts tell you something else. I cannot fool myself. I wish I could...

I think the real connection is a case of dellusion. The unavailable person as a love interest allows you to fill in the gaps as being glorious and perfect when you really don't know how it would be if you could be with him, like if he forgets to take the tash out and that bothers you.

Soul mates sometimes are not there to be with but to show you temptation or reflect something about yourself so you can become more whole. Falling for someone that is unavaiable is showing you how to love w/out attachment and as temptation, maybe. And that could be a soul mate think that you both decided before incarnating to go through that. It doesn't matter that he says he's into you too or not, I don't see that. It's still a "what could have been".