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Originally Posted by DayInTheLife  When I first read the letter I thought it was too much, but having seen the female response, I'd say go for it. |
It's not too much! It's gutsy
Being lukewarm and cautious is totally unattractive. If you first check out how high the risk is, let her know somehow that you maybe like her a bit, while still doing as if you don't really want her in order not to lose your face.... well then it's no wonder that you get turned down.
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Originally Posted by cylon And experience. |
Come on cylon! You know as an IMer that experience is but the manifestation of your past thoughts. Using what you attracted as a reference you'll never change anything.
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Originally Posted by cylon Everyone has fear when it comes to romantic love, men and women. |
I don't agree. You can love someone and have no fear. She doesn't love you? So what? As long as you don't use her love as a measure for your own worth, nothing can ever happen to you. It's wonderful to love someone, you can enjoy it independently of the other person's feelings.
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Originally Posted by cylon <---then you wouldn't post a love letter asking for people's advice. You would just do it. He's scared. It's natural. |
He said he wants to give her the most beautiful letter and asked us for advice to better it. It's a gift for her, not a means for him to get a relationship with her.
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Originally Posted by cylon I'm curious, for the women posting here (if you care to elaborate on this) how many times you have given a man the "let's just be friends" speech, and the circumstances. |
Hmmm... I don't remember, I guess never. Of course it happens that I tell some guy that I hope we will become good friends. But that's because I sincerely wish to be his friend, it's not a way to say no to him. I don't think the men I tell that have any romantic interest in me. (or if they have, it's well hidden!) When I say no to a guy, I don't try to be friends. Doesn't make sense, if he has some romantic interest in me we wouldn't be really friends anyway.
Oh yeah, now I remember, there's one guy, it started as an affair, then he wanted a relationship, I didn't want, but I found him SO great, and funny, and intelligent, interesting, everything... I had such a good time with him, I would have loved to be his friend, so I told him "let's just be friends, please!" It didn't work of course.
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Originally Posted by wolfgang Is it possible to fall in love without attachment? |
yes! Absolutely.
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Originally Posted by cylon Women, in general, tend to tell men to do the opposite of what attracts them. |
Maybe that's true for you, (rememeber, LoA) but not generally.
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Originally Posted by cylon I think the open expression in the letter IS exactly what most guys would do. It's also what most men do before they hear "I like you as a friend." |
I don't think that's what most men would do, but nevermind. If they hear "I like you as a friend", well, do you really think they would have heard something else without expressing their feelings? If a girl likes you as a friend, do you really think you can manipulate her into having sex with you? I don't think so. The question is more, why do you attract girls who like you as a friend instead of girls who want to have sex with you?