Originally Posted by cylon
| wolfgang:She didn't give you bad first impressions, you were having you own judgements or insecurities, perhaps.
That's a great observation, took me awhile for this to click in my own life. Many women I thought were stuck up or mean, was really me not thinking they would be attracted. It's a self-defense mechanism.
Nice tie in - hadn't seen the self-defense part of that dynamic. Yeah, thinking they wouldn't be attracted is also a form of putting them on a pedastal and kind of bowing down to a god of some kind. "I'm not worthy". That's a hard projection to have someone live up to. And actually romanitc love that is overwhelming puts on rose colored glasses just like that. But then to protect yourself one them will degrade this image of the other as judgements, being scared of putting your emotional energy into the exalted pedastal image of the other since you know it's not real but you are falling for that image you created in your head. anyway - that dynamic probably shows up at some point during a courting/dating phase.